The Puppet

I was a muppet

I thought he had feelings

He was a puppet

A puppet

Without feelings

A puppet

I wanted to die for

A puppet

With no control

Awake

The music has stopped

I’m alone in the dark auditorium

‘Ladies and gentlemen

Due to technical problems

The performance had ceased

we will continue shortly

With the show’

I’m sick scared

I must approach the stage

I get close

So close

Closer than I ever was

To him

But the lights are too bright

And I see what I can’t see

I see what I don’t want to see

I close my eyes

Pull him close

I want the music to play

I want the fear to go away

Close-

I run my fingers

Along his soft skin

My skin

And I feel-

Wood

Everywhere

Wood

Smooth and Cold

Wood

And a million rusting nails

Cut through

My flesh

I feel what I can’t feel

I feel what I don’t want to feel

Tight strings

Instead of veins

Hollow eyes

Hiding behind

The puppeteers lies

And now

His jaw’s transfixed

Can’t even talk

This must be

Some kind of a joke

Come out!

Come out from behind the curtains

Show me your face

Show me your Face!

I shout into emptiness

I wait. And I break

There is none

An Outlet

I have found an outlet

Possibly temporary

An outlet

Behind the thick crimson curtains

Of subconsciousness

And it’s washing over me

Just as the sun washes over me

When I look at it through

The leafless branches in the winter sky

We can spread the word

Play the tune

In the frequency

Only those who want

Will hear

We’ll whisper it to the purple sunset

And bury it under the soft pebbles

On the Adriatic shores

In the space between the thumb and

The chord

In the experience of the story

An outlet

For me and you

The reader

Shh!

Enjoy

Understand

Alone

I don’t want to be drafted

I don’t want to die

Die

In this confusion

Before I peel the layers

And become one

With the core

 

That burns, that burns

That hurts, that hurts

From the gut

 

That screams that screams

Like a lost beast

Inside some metal clamp

 

In some nightmare

Either the beast will be tamed into submission

Or there will be no reason at all for its existence

A disease

A cancer

Feeding off my soul

 

I don’t want to live

I don’t want to live

Like them

 

A brief exchange of masks

At the coffee table

Admire mine and I’ll admire yours

 

Tell me what really frightens you

Sit down

Don’t run

Tell me about death and dreams

The loss of God

And how we measure our days against the universe

Not time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Bug

Can you trust this wind?

Can you see it and live in it

Pretending that it is real

That you can touch it

And feel it

And smell it

And see it?

Give me numbers

Give me words

Distraction from life

I want more

Always more

Like a bug blinded by light

I fly towards unconsciousness

Sunday sunday

Enveloped by old bricks

And sacred buildings

We sniff around for entertainment

Like a herd of blind dogs

 

The music is unheard

Behind the muttering words

Ice cream cones

Scattered lights

Cigarette buds

Time is ticking into the night

 

Who will find a meaningful glee

beneath our fractured senses?

The two old ladies walking hand in hand

Or a young couple harboring

In each others breast?

 

Someone’s time has come

Someone’s has slipped away

Few are searching

Many have walked astray

 

They can’t give me what I’m here for

Only a collision of winged worlds

Gives birth to infinity

 

High up, the church bells

Echo through this crowded emptiness

A majestic lighthouse warning

 

Like a cruising yawl in a

Stagnant waterway

I wait for the turn of the tide

I love the way your mind works…

I love the way your mind works

 

He told me

But he didn’t understand

 

I can’t tell you

I can’t say

I can talk

I can touch

But I can’t say

 

I don’t want to say

 

I don’t see

What I want to see

 

Another slaughter in the fields

Another slaughter of the wind

 

When I was little

We ate breakfast on paintings

Do you understand?

You may love

But you don’t understand

 

You may feel

But you don’t understand

You may think

That it’s real

But you don’t understand

 

He couldn’t see me

No one can

Wooden aucoustics

Nights spent

In wooden aucoustics

Making sounds

On the carved ceiling

 

There is no one to thank

And no need to search for answers

 

I am inside the aucoustics

I am the aucoustics

 

Inside something is simmering

Endlessly

In a language

I don’t understand

I trust myself and no one else

I trust myself and no one else

I know how I laugh

I know how I cry

I know how I shout

I know how I run

 

On this map I stand

On this soul, I will always land

 

Although I drift

In space and time

In fear and the divine

In words and roads

In others and in myself

 

I trust myself and no one else

 

You can give me a tree

Of apples gold

And a bark that will never become old

Fierce smooth branches

Reaching out into the sky

 

The most comforting dream

Everything that it seems

 

I can learn to love thee

 

But what I need is me

 

Another map

Not a tree

My kingdom

I found myself in a room

I found my joys, my sorrows

I found my gloom

 

My sepulchral air

Surrounds

A thick cathedral like forest

That is my kingdom

 

I am running through it now

Sharp odour of the green

Tapping over the foot prints I have left

Climbing the old majestic roots

I have planted

 

No time to look back

I must catch up with my shadow

 

He can’t keep up with my pace

He can’t feel the sun on his face

 

I must let him go and run free

Until the day that I meet me

Because you found it

All our lives we look for a reason

For stability

To overcome this uncertainty

We are looking for love

But love can’t feel this real

No love can’t feel this real

I struggle to find my identity

Now I need to look for my reality

The music is flowing

Through the mirror

The voices are

are on the other side

Far far away

And the colours

In the hallway

Embrace a life of their own

We’re on a center stage

Of our lives

With a remote control

For time

In our minds

The one they’ve been hiding from us

All our lives

Love can’t feel this real

Love can’t feel this real

And we fall

Deeper and deeper

Into life

Deeper and

Deeper

Into Life

Your mind set loose

The beautiful reality

Where everything is clear

And the truth is finally near

And the truth is finally near